Among the strangest things I ever heard

was when a friend of mine said "Man, let's get some thunderbird"

I said "What's that?" he just started to grin

slobbered on his shirt, his eyes got dim

he said "You got fifty-nine cents?"





I said "Yeah, I got a dollar, but don't be a smart-aleck

I ain't gonna spend it on no indian relic"

and he said "Thunderbird's not an old indian trinket,

it's a wine, man, you take it home and drink it."

I said "It sure don't sound like wine to me"

and he said he'd bet me the change from my dollar





We hustled on down to the nearest U-Tate-Um

the guy wanted my ID, I whipped her out and showed him

he got a green bottle from the freezing vault

my friend started doing backward somersaults

through the cottage cheese





Took it back to his house, started drinkin'

pretty soon I set in to thinkin'

"Man, this thunderbird tastes yummy, yummy, yummy

and I know it's doing good things to my tummy, tum..., t..."

it's so you reason when your on that crap





Got a few more bottles, chugged them down

I pulled myself up off the ground

decided I go see my dearest sweet wife

who met me at the door with a carving knife

said "Get them damn grape peel from between your teeth."





I could see we're gonna have a little misunderstanding

I said "Dear, I better get in touch with you later"

She said "Forget it, man, you're never touchin' me again!"





Now I've seen the light and heard the word

and I'm staying away from that ol' dirty thunderbird

a message come from heaven radiant, and fine,

all I drink now is communion wine

six days a week