She came into my room at two o'clock in the afternoon

And she said that she had a desperate need

To talk about our relationship

and wasn't it time that we called it quits

But she cried when I said that I kind of agreed



I didn't know what to say

I began to wish I was dead

Crazy me crazy me

I thought that she meant what she said



She said she wanted to hear me say that I'd always want to be near her

I asked, "Well why isn't that what you said?"

She turned and cried some more and when she left she slammed the door

Then I sighed with relief and sat down on my bed



My jaw nearly hit the floor

I couldn't believe my eyes

Twenty minutes later when I opened the door

And she was standing right outside



I said, "Hey what the hell are you still doing here?"

and she said, "Well

I thought you were gonna come after me"

I rolled my eyes and told her, "You should really be acting older

You're thirty years old and I'm just twenty-three"



CHORUS:

Then she rode away

On a bicycle built for two

All alone



To make her leave was beyond my power so we hugged for half an hour

And I know for sure because I checked

My cowboy secret space detective super hero radioactive

Message decoding watch behind her neck



Two hours later she finally left

And this time she was really gone

I sat done immediately

And I began to write this song



I was out on New Year's Eve and as I was getting ready to leave

I saw her approach from across the bar

So I pretended I was plastered, she found out and called me a bastard

But she followed me home anyway in her car



We argued right outside my door

It was unbelievably cold

My toes were getting kind of numb

So I told her that I had to go



Now I live in fear every time I see her coming near

I try to hide but I can't get away

I'm sick of lies and compromises averting eyes and wearing disguises

She stalks me twenty-four hours a day



CHORUS