Lyrics & Music by: Lynn Ahrens

Performed by: Jaime Aff and Christine Langner





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There's a telegram for you ma'am,

And the message is clear.

It says there's something bugging you

And buzzing in your ear.

The results can be quite itchy

So what is your reply?

Tell your arm to swat that fly!



Hey, there's a telegraph line,

You got yours and I got mine.

It's called the nervous system,

And everybody understands

Those telegram commands

And you know that everybody better listen!



The central nervous system

Is the brain and the spine.

The brain controls the system

And the spine is the line.

Telegrams come in

To tell what's happening to you,

Then telegrams go out

To tell your body what to do.



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There's a telegram for you sir,

Better read it on the spot.

It says your hand is near a stove

That's very, very hot.

The results can be quite painful,

And there's no time to think,

Quick! Pull that hand away, and get it to the sink



There's a telegraph line,

You got yours and I got mine.

It's called the nervous system,

And everybody understands

Those telegram commands

And you know that everybody better listen!



Your peripheral nerves,

They go all out,

Delivering those messages

Your senses send out.

>From your hearing and touch

To your sight and taste and smell,

They let your brain react

To all the messages they tell.



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There's a telegram for you, kid,

And it's at an awful time.

It says you've gotta go on stage

And you forgot your lines

You're gonna be embarrassed,

'Cause this telegram's a rush.

Your heart starts beatin' faster and you blush!





Hey, there's a telegraph line,

You got yours and I got mine.

It's called the nervous system,

And everybody understands

Those telegram commands

And you know that everybody better listen!



The autonomic system

Has a hold of you,

Controlling automatically

Some things that you do.

Your breathing and your heartbeat

Just go on naturally

And when you're scared, your nerves

Rev up the speed!



Dit dittle dittle dit

Dit dittle dittle dit

Dit dittle dittle dit



Hey, there's a telegraph line,

You got yours and I got mine.

It's called the nervous system,

And everybody understands

Those telegram commands

And you know that everybody better listen!



Dit dittle dittle dit

Dit dittle dittle dit

Dittle dittle dit dit