I go to college

That makes me so cool

I live in a dorm

And show off by the pool

I join the right clubs

Just to make an impression

I block out thinking

It won't get me ahead



My ambition in life

Is to look good on paper

All I want is a slot

In some big corporation



John Belushi's my hero

I Lampoon and ape him

My news of the world

Comes from Sports Illustrated



I'm proud of my trophies

Like my empty beer cans

Stacked in rows up the wall

To impress all my friends



No, I'm not here to learn

I just want to get drunk

And major in business

And be taught how to fuck



Win! Win!

I always play to win

Wanna fit in like a cog

In the faceless machine



(chorus)

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal terminal

Terminal terminal terminal terminal



I want a wife with tits

Who just smiles all the time

In my centerfold world

Filled with Springsteen and wine



Some day I'll have power

Some day I'll have boats

A tract in some suburb

With Thanksgivings to host



(chorus)

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal preppie

Terminal terminal terminal preppie