We all used to call him Jimmy the Geek

He was a dumb-lookin', scrawny, little four-eyed freak

He never used to hang around with the guys

He'd just sit in the corner, attractin' the flies



He wasn't much to look at

He never was very bright

but at least there was one thing that he could do all right

That boy could dance



He was kind of a jerk

He was kind of a bore

but the women would scream when he walked in the door

'cause one thing I could tell you for sure

That boy could dance



Picking teams, he would always be last

He couldn't run very far,

He couldn't think very fast

If he was on your side, you'd always lose

the guy had a problem, even tying his shoes



He never passed his drivers test

He was always afraid of cars

and he had a complexion that resembled the surface of Mars

but that boy could dance



Well, his hair was a mess

and his clothes didn't fit

He smelled pretty bad, and he drooled just a bit

but you gotta admit

boy, that boy could dance



Now that boy is much older

he's got his own dance studio

He's got a teeny bopper fan club

yeah, he's got his own TV show

now he owns half of Montana

they all call him "Diamond Jim"

and you know I'd do anything if I could be just like him

'cause that boy could dance