-Feris-wheels & bumper-cars are fun, but those rides just aren't for everyone. Bought my ticket I'ma have a run, in the maze. If I don't come back a right away give me time at least a half a day, don't just leave me lost & thrown away, in the maze.



*Hello ladies & gentlemen, I'm Jeff Nepul

**& I'm Jimbo Jizzm.

*Welcome to the Dark Carnival's Amazing Maze

**Over five-thousand ways to get in & NO way out.

*Let's meet today's volenteer, this is Rick.

**We like to call him, Rick The Dick.

*Dickface here is a wealthy entrepenuer, who smacks his wife around, & buys his way in & out of everything.

**Let's see how mister tough guy fairs up in... THE AMAZING MAZE



Violent J, (Shaggy 2 Dope), & [



What up, Bitch. I'm Violent J, I'll be your guide for the day, kay?

Good. Got mad doors, & mad floors, hallways, crawlways, walls for days.

Make a left just before you make a right & your left should be to your right if your left's right... right!?!

Good, begin the show go on ahead boy & open up the first door.



Welcome to a theatrical thriller, meet Jack Dooby a serial killer with a chainsaw he takes yo' arm at the elbow, you get it back if you make it out, though. Fuck, ain't know you's cryin' all day, you need to take yo' bitch ass back down the hallway. You gotta be a man, at least you learn. Everything you get in the maze you have earned.

(Keep runnin' time's a tickin' on the clock)

You might wanna tie that stump up in a sock

Turn right it might look the same, but you makin' tracks to the room of thumbtacs.



This really ain't shit, about a million tacs & the room spins a bit...

If you stay on your feet you'll be ok... hahaha... oh, let me get out of your way...



**Oh, boy. Rick the dick's in a bit of a jam there, Jeff.

*That's right Jimbo, he looks like a ragdoll flippin' & spinnin' like that. You can always witness spectacles truly amazing within the amazing maze...

**Let's see where Rick's adventures will lead the little dick-wipe...



HAHAHA!

So you got a few tacs in yo' balls, pick 'em all out & head right back down the halls.

What's this... dead end? Doors locked? It's a long way back just knock...

-knock-knock-knock...



-gunshots-



OH, shoulda turned around no doubt. Ain't nothin' that we gotta sit & argue about. Keep goin'. Make a left, right left, now right, straight ahead some more. Open up the door.



-Silk sheets, nice breeze, relax ninja take it with ease. The maze is a place of magick, many surprises, yo' dick rises, lay down expect the best, in comes yo' lover with a hairy chest...



_ Hello, sexy. I'm Grim Love, & I'ma have a look at your, uh, "milkdud"...



OHHH! SHIT, YOU FELL FOR THAT!!! I ain't gonna tell you got yo' O-ring tapped. All that dissin' of the opposite sex & look who just got they butt-hole flexed!



WAIT! What's that!?! The walls are closin' in, FUCK THAT! Hurry, run fo' yo' life.---- OH... he'll be alright.



*How's that sit with you Jimbo? First he gets plugged with bullets, then he gets his butt-plugged...

**I think he's a fucking idiot, Jeff, I mean what can't of ass-hole can't find his way out of this maze? You gotta be a REAL dick-buffer to wind up here in the first place.

*Right you are, Jimbo. Let's watch the big dick fuck up some more.



Alrighty, ain't no need to fear, if there's a way out it's gotta be near.

Hey, yo look, a phone. You still got one good arm, so it's on.



-dialing-



Can you hear? AH! Tongue in yo' ear. Drop it the phone's got a life of it's own.



-kiss me, man. Hey, come on.



Slip down the slide, go faster, bed of nails, DISASTER!

Quite screamin', yo. Hurry the fuck up & open the door.



(Quick, trees. You outside, lots of places for creetins to hide.

Watch yo' step, backdrop, caught yo foot at the ankle, SLIP!

Screamin' off with a stump, feel somethin' in the rump. Holla's.

Yeah. They're gonna get ya. How does it feel, bitch. Get the picture?



Back in doors, hey, at last. Look at yo' family behind the glass.

They look weird, they're sayin' somethin'. Listen up...



-You fucked up, you fucked up.



Ohhh. They're laughin' & they're pointin' at you. At least you know what they're sayin's true. It's one last door. You made it home or...



-Alright!



Once again it's on... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!



-Feris-wheels & bumper-cars are fun, but those rides just aren't for everyone. Bought my ticket I'ma have a run, in the maze. If I don't-- (HEY!)

come back a right away--

(HEY)

Give me tim---

(MAN, CUT THAT SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN! Happy friendly shit, man.

FUCK THAT. We's Supposed to be wicked in this bitch, man. Turn that shit off, man.)