Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade

She worked the night shift

Dishwater blonde, tall and fine

She got a lot of tips



Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room

Fightin' with lover's past

I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine

Dorothy was fast



Well, I ordered - "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't 2 hungry"

Dorothy laughed

She said - "It sound like a real man 2 me (U're kinda cute)

U're kinda cute, U wanna take a bath?" (Do U wanna, do U wanna?) ... Bath?



Oh, I said - "Cool, but I'm leavin' my pants on (What U say?)

Cuz I'm kinda goin' with someone"

She said - "Sound like a real man 2 me

Mind if I turn on the radio?"



"Oh, my favorite song," she said

And it was Joni singing, "Help me, I think I'm falling"

(Drring) The phone rang and she said

"Whoever's calling can't be as cute as U"

Right then and there I knew I was through (Dorothy Parker was cool)



Well



My pants were wet, they came off

But she didn't see the movie cuz she hadn't read the book first



Instead she pretended she was blind

An affliction brought on by a witch's curse

Dorothy made me laugh (ha ha, ha ha)

I felt much better so I went back 2 the violent room

(Tell us what U did, what U did) Let me tell U what I did



I took another bubble bath with my pants on

All the fighting stopped

Next time I'll do it sooner

This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker

(Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker)

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker



Well

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Well

Oh