Where's Jerry Lewis when you need the man?

Where's Jerry Lewis when no one gives a damn?

And there's my man up on the stage

And with the children about four in age

They're crazy, they're crippled, but they're lovely

And young, and wild, and lovely (and crippled)

And crippled (and crippled)

And it's a crime, they're lovely (and lovely)

Where's Jerry Lewis, who's on the stage soon?

Who's coming up (coppin' a feel from a crippled baboon)

I'll give my money to any baboon who's crazy enough to win my money

And there's a cripple so I give some more

Oh, here's a fiver for you, son

I love you (I love you, too)

You lovely crippled boy (crippled)

You lovely crippled boy (crippled motherfucker)

Where's Jerry Lewis when you need the man come Labor Day each year?

Where's Jerry Lewis? (wheelchair blues)

Where's Jerry Lewis? (ah, winner, you're a real winner)

Where's Jerry Lewis?