Put on your yarmulke

Here comes Chanukah

Once again it's onaka

The miracle of Chanukah



Chanukah is the festival of lights

One day of presents, hell no, we get eight crazy nights

But if you still feel like the only kid in two without a Christmas tree

I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you, so here comes number three



Ross and Phoebe from Friends say the Chanukah blessing

So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will & Grace's Debra Messing

Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mix meat with dairy

Maybe they shoulda called that show "Little Kosher House on the Prairie"

We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller, and Jack Black

Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back



We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe

But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow, I'm Jewish



Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah



The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Chanukah



Osama bin Laden, not a big fan of the Jews

Well maybe that's cuz he lost a figure skating match

to gold medalist Sarah Hughes, her mama's Jewish

Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets with such precision

But the one thing they could not get out of - their painful circumcisions



As for half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one

And Marlon Brando, not a Jew at all, but it looks to me like he ate one

Gwenyth Paltrow's half-Jewish, but a full time Oscar winner

Jennifer Conelly's half-Jewish too, and I'd like to put some more in her



There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck, and Paula Abdul

Joey Ramone invented punk rock music, but first came Hebrew School



Natalie Portmonika, it's time to celebrate Chanukah

I hope I get an abtronika, on this joyful, toyful Chanukah

So get a high colonika, and soil your Long Johnikas

If you really, really wannaka

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah