The table's set ant the turkey's out

Christmas is here, let out a shout

The family's gathered all about

Christmas, Christmas is here!

Everyone is wearing big smiles

They all try to act nice for a while

Then George calls his in-laws vile

Christmas, Christmas is here!



Always at one time of the year

When everyone's problems disappear

And everyone smiles from ear to ear

Christmas, Christmas is here!



George has been drinking a lot

He just can't keep out of the sauce

He says his wife's been screwing her boss

Christmas, Christmas is here!

Margaret throws her food in his face

People are hungry, it's really a waste

Then she screams, ";How does that taste?";

Christmas, Christmas is here!



Always at one time of the year

When everyone's problems disappear

And everyone smiles from ear to ear

Christmas, Christmas is here!



George picks up the carving knife

Weilds it around and starts to slice

Henry cocks his shotgun twice

Christmas, Christmas is here!

Henry says, ";Hey, what's the deal?

Just sit down and finish your meal

Or I'll pump you full of steel!";

Christmas, Christmas is here!



Always at one time of the year

When everyone's problems disappear

And everyone smiles from ear to ear

Christmas, Christmas is here!



Police arrive just after eight

Responding to a noise complaint

Open the door, what a grisly fate

Christmas, Christmas is here!

Fa la la and deck the halls

Blood was spattered on the walls

Merry Christmas, one and all!

Christmas, Christmas is here!



Always at one time of the year

When everyone's problems disappear -aca