The table's set ant the turkey's out

Christmas is here, let out a shout

The family's gathered all about

Christmas, Christmas is here!

Everyone is wearing big smiles

They all try to act nice for a while

Then George calls his in-laws vile

Christmas, Christmas is here!



Always at one time of the year

When everyone's problems disappear

And everyone smiles from ear to ear

Christmas, Christmas is here!



George has been drinking a lot

He just can't keep out of the sauce

He says his wife's been screwing her boss

Christmas, Christmas is here!

Margaret throws her food in his face

People are hungry, it's really a waste

Then she screams,