I turned my turn tables over to sit on the legs

But between you and me.. does that make me gay?

I rap all day about nothing important

And get responses like as if I was impotent



I'm MC Tard. I'm working hard

To bring you shit that won't reach charts

All the girls.. they can see

There ain't no other white boy like me



People ask me..

They go.. you Tard, why don't you record?



Well, you see I don't really have a nice sounding voice

I have a hard time keeping my throat moist

Eminem would put a hit out on me

Then I'd be dead pushing up daisies

Now, that doesn't seem to appealing

So, lets just try to drop this please

Don't make me have to phone the police

Cuz once this cop helped rescue my cat

But then he wanted a favor back

I told him I would never touch a pig like that

And then he goes.. Oh, come on.. just a pat

I said maybe I would if you weren't so fat

Then he put my cat back where he rescued it from

And I went, alright quit acting dumb

Alright wait.. Why am I telling you this

Just giving you another reason to diss me

Like the sissy.. I act like

I might bite when I fight

Despite my height.. of six feet tall

Sometimes to me I feel real small

No No, don't pity me at all

Cuz then I might break down and ball



So anyway, back to Eminem

Yeah, I wouldn't be much competition

Cuz the 14 year olds that worship him

Love the way that he disses Kim

It would also be too much to expect them

To switch to this MC on a whim

Besides I don't want kids all over my limbs

Thats not the point my mission

Sure I aspire to be a pimp

Just not to dorks that act like gimps



I'm MC Tard. I'm working hard-acapo