Verse One: Humpty Hump (Shock G)

All right!

Stop whatcha doin'

'cause I'm about to ruin

the image and the style that ya used to.

I look funny

but yo I'm makin' money see

so yo world I hope you're ready for me.

Now gather round

I'm the new fool in town

and my sound's laid down by the Underground.

I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf

so just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.

Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.

And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.

I'm steppin' tall, y'all,

and just like Humpty Dumpty

you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.

I like to rhyme,

I like my beats funky,

I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack

but sometimes I get ridiculous

I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice

hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?

Yeah, I called ya fat.

Look at me, I'm skinny

It never stopped me from gettin' busy

I'm a freak

I like the girls with the boom

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I'm crazy.

Allow me to amaze thee.

They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.

I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants

and I even got my own dance

{Chorus:}

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump

Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump

Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump

Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Verse Two:

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"

that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'

Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me

but ya can't get near me

I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,

all the girls they adore me

Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere

'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.

My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed

Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid

I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,

both how I'm livin' and my nose is large

I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,

I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid

I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,

I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits

Also told ya that I like to bite

Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.

All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance

and now I'm gonna do my dance.

{Chorus}

Breakdown:

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all

Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here

Oh, yeah!

Now that I told ya a little bit about myself

let me tell ya a little bit about this dance

It's real easy to do--check it out

Verse Three:

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken

Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'

Crazy wack funky

People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty

That's all right 'cause my body's in motion

It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion

Anyone can play this game

This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name

No two people will do it the same

Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain

Humpin', funkin', jumpin',

jig around, shakin' ya rump,

and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump

tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.

{Chorus}

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump

Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Let's get stoopid!

{Chorus}

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Outro:

Once again, the Underground is in the house

I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,

keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,

and to the ladies,

peace and humptiness forever

{Music and fade