I was impressed like everyone

When man began to fly

Out of Earthly regions to

Planets in the sky

With total media coverage

We watched the heroes land

As ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand



In awe with admiration we

Listened to the talk

Such pride felt they, such joy

To be upon the moon to walk

My romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me

Spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee



* Oh! The intergalactic laxative

Will get you from here to there

Believe you and believe me! Without a worry or care

If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars



The intergalactic laxative

Will get you from here to Mars



They don't partake like you and I

Of beefy burger mush

Their food is specially prepared

To dissolve into slush

Absorbed by multi-fibres in

The super diaper suit

Otherwise the slush would trickle

Down inside the boot



* CHORUS



You may well ask now what becomes

Of liquid they consume

A pipe is led from penis to head to

A unit in the room

The water is recirculated, filtered

For re-use

In case some anti-gravity pee

Gets on the loose



* CHORUS



Wherever man has conquered on the

Quest for frontiers new

I'm glad he's always had to do

The no. one and two

It makes it all so ordinary

Just like you and me

To know the greatest heroes

They had to shit and pee