Teacher Sings) And everyone should get along..

Ok children quiet down, quiet down Children i'd like to introduce

your new substitute teacher for the day His name is Mr. Shady

Children quite down please Brian don't throw that.. (SHUT UP!)

Mr. Shady will be your new substitute while Mr. Kaniff is out with limonia

(HE'S GOT AIDS!) Good luck Mr. Shady...



(Verse 1-Eminem)

Hi there little boys and girls

(FUCK YOU!) Today we're going to learn how to annoy some squirrels

But first, i'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)

Say Hi Bob, ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his



Mom and he don't got a job Cause Bob just sits at home and smokes pot

With his 12 year old brother looks up to him off alot And Bob

likes to hang out at the local waffle spot And wait in the parking

lot for waitresses off the clock When it's late and alot gets dark

and he fakes like he walks his dog He drag 'em in the woods

and goes straight to the ????? And even if they escape and got the cops



Ladies would be so afraid, they would drop the charge

Till one night Miss. Stacey went off the job When she felt someone

grab her whole face and said not to talk But Stacey knew it was

Bob and said knock it off But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's

crazy, a novice rocker Crazier than Slim Shady is off the locker

You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor



He grabbed Stace by the legs, he chopped it off her

And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her

But ever since the day Stacey went off the wander

They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner

And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana And what it might do to you

So see if the squirrels wanderin, it's bad for you



(Chorus) See children, drugs are bad And

If you don't believe me,ask ya Dad

And If you don't believe him, ask ya Mom

She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time



So kids say no to drugs

So you don't act like everyone else does

And there's really nothing else to say

Drugs are just bad mmm k...



(Verse 2-Eminem) My penis is the size of a peanut, Have you seen it?

Fuck no you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)

Speaking of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?

Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world

If someone offers it to you, don't do it Kids

2 hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid

Cause spinal fluid is vinal, you won't get it back

So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in ya back



Meet Zack, 21 years old

After hanging around with some friends at a Frat party

He gets bold, and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys

And peer pressure will win when everytime you try to fight it



Suddenly, he starts to convulse

And his pulse goes into hyperdrive, and his eyes go back in his skull

His back starts ta...look like the McDonald's Arches

He's on Donald's carpet, laying horizontal barfin'

And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him

"Hey Adam, Zack is a jackass, look at him"



So they took it to, so they think it's funny

So the laughin' does basically nothing

Except maybe wastin' your money

Meanwhile, Zack's in a coma, the action is over

And his back and his shoulders,

hunched up as if he was practicin' Yolka

And that's the story of Zack, ecstasy maniac

So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you



(Repeat chorus)



(Verse 3-Eminem) Last but not least,

One of the most humungous problems among young people today,

is fungus It grows from cow manure,

They pick it out, wipe it off, bag it up,

and you put it right in ya mouth and chew it...Yum Yum

Then you start to see some dumb stuff

And everything slows down when you eat some, of um...

And sometimes you see things that aren't there

(Like what?) Like fat woman in g-strings with orange hair

(Mr. Shady what's a g-string?)

It's Claire Women stick them up there behind, go out and wear 'em

(Huh?)



And if you swallow too much of the magic mushroom

Whoops, did i say magic mushroom, i meant fungus

Ya tongue gets all swolled up like a cow's tongue

(How come?) Cause it comes from a cow's dump (Oh)

See drugs are bad, it's a common fact Wit ya Mom and Dad,

well that's all i'm good at (Ert) But don't be me,

cause if ya grow up and ya go OD

They're gonna come for me and i'mma have to grow a goatee

And get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault

So don't do drugs, and do exactly as i don't,

cause it's bad for you



(Repeat chorus)



(Teacher & Classmates) Come on children, clap along

(SHUT UP!) Sing along children (SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING DICK!) Drugs are just bad,

drugs are just bad (???? GONNA SUE ME) So don't do drugs,

tell 'em save more for me (GOD DAMNIT! MUSHROOMS KILLED KENNY)

(Pltttt OOOO *fart noises*) la la la la