Here comes the Maven, he's coming around

He's such a connoisseur, he's such an autograph hound, yeah

He's got 60 yes-men and they tend to agree

There's a long black book without any eyes

He's got my number but he's got your size, yeah

And if you measure up then a sure trick'll be wise





Just turn the light off when you go (he hates the dark)

Just tell the jury all you know (was just a lark)

We'll send a sign to you over the sea





There goes the Maven, sowing his seed

One for the rock, one for the hand that feeds, yeah

He reaps the harvest with his sleight of hand

Just say the magic word and he's at your side

Beware his tender touch, his plans are chilly and wide, yeah

Sleeps through the winter in a white quiet land





Here is the Maven, draining the cup

He takes your arm and then he eats you up, yeah

There is a surfeit of everything you crave

Here is the Maven, signing the check

He bought us dinner so what the fucking heck, yeah

There is a surplus of everything you save