Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys

For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys

When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death

Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo

Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo

And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,

"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"



The night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain



Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it

Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet

And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage

And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage

He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger

And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger

And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen

And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"



The night Santa went crazy

The night Kris Kringle went nuts

Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole

Without steppin' in reindeer guts



There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.

There's a van from the Eyewitness News

And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky

And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?

My my my my my my

You used to be such a jolly guy



Yes Virginia, Now Santa is dead Some guy

From the swat team blew a hole through his head

Yes little friend now, thats his brains on the floor,

I guess they wont have the fat guy kicking around anymore

But now there's no more presents for children's enjoyment

And the Elves have to wait in the line and file for unemployment

And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night

With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights



They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nicholas flipped

Broke his back for some milk and cookies

Sounds to me like he was sick of gettin' gypped



Wo, the night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nick went insane

Realized he's gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain

Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain