Talking)

May I have your attention please,

may I have your attention please,

will the real slim shady please stand up,

I repeat will the real slim shady please stand up

.....we're gonna have a problem here.........



(Verse 1)

Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before

jaws all on the floor

like pam and tommy just burst in the door

and started whoopin her ass worse than before

they first were divorced

throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah)

It's the return of the...

"awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding,

he didn't just say what I think he did,

did he?"

and Dr. Dre said...

nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead

he's locked in my bassment

feminist women love eminem

chicka chicka chicka slim shady,

"I'm sick of him, lookit him

walkin around, grabbin his you know what

flippin' to you know who"

"yeah, but he's so cute though"

yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh)

sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose

but cant, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose

My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips

and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss

and that's the message that we deliver to little kids

and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is

of course they're gonna know what intercourse is

by the time they hit 4th grade

they got the discovery channel, dont they?

we ain't nothing but mammals

well, some of us cannibals

who cut other people open like cantelopes

but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote

women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes........



(Chorus)

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up



(Verse 2)

Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records

well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too

you think I give a damn about a grammy

half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

"but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"

why? so you guys can just lie to get me here

so you can sit me here next to britney spears

shit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst

and hear em argue over who she gave head to first

little bitch, put me on blast on MTV

"yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee"

I should download her audio on MP3

and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah)

I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups

all you do is annoy me

so I have been sent here to destroy you

and there's a million of us just like me

who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me

who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me

and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me......



(Chorus)

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up



(Verse 3)

I'm like a head trip to listen to

cause I'm only givin you things

you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room

the only difference is I got the balls to say it

in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all

I just get on the mic and spit it

and whether you like to admit it (riiip)

I just shit it better than 90% you rappers out can

then you wonder how can

kids eat up these albums like valiums

it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's

and I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working

in every single person there's a slim shady lurkin

he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings

or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck

with his windows down and his system up

so will the real shady please stand up

and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up

and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? ...........



(Chorus)

I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up



cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up

cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady

all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating

so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up



(Talking)

haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us........

fuck it let's all stand up