Couple of guys sittin' around drinkin'

Down at the Starlight Bar

One of 'em says, "You know I've been thinking"

Other one says, "That won't get you too far"

He says, "This is your life, and welcome to it

It's just workin' and drinkin' and dreams

Ad on TV says 'Just Do It'

Hell if I know what that means"



The secret of life is a good cup of coffee

The secret of life is keep your eye on the ball

The secret of life is a beautiful woman

And Marilyn stares down from the barroom wall



"You and me, we're just a couple of zeros

Just a couple of down-and-outs

But movie stars and football heroes

What have they got to be unhappy about?"

So they turn to the bartender, "Sam, what do you think?

What's the key that unlocks that door?"

Sam don't say nothin', just wipes off the bar

And he pours them a couple more



'Cause the secret of life is in Sam's martinis

The secret of life is in Marilyn's eyes

The secret of life is in Monday Night Football

Rolling Stones records and Mom's apple pie



Sam looks up from his Sunday paper

Says, "Boys, you're on the wrong track

The secret of life is there ain't no secret

And you don't get your money back"

Hey



The secret of life is gettin' up early

The secret of life is stayin' up late

The secret of life is try not to hurry

But don't wait

Don't wait



The secret of life is a good cup of coffee

The secret of life is keep your eye on the ball

The secret of life is to find the right woman

The secret of life is nothin' at all

Oh, it's nothin' at all

The secret of life



Couple of guys sittin' around drinkin'

Down at the Starlight Bar

One of 'em says, "You know I've been thinking"

Other one says, "That won't get you too far"

"That won't get you too far"