The "secret service" makes me nervous

when I am dating they are waiting to observe us

when I get ready to hold steady for the "kiss" you plan

the "secret service" makes me nervous and I can't!



They're always spying, no denying

they're always peeping, gumshoe creeping, private eying

when I'm beginning to give-inning like a maiden aunt

the "secret service" makes me nervous and I can't!



I've been exposed beyond control

just like a "goldfish" in a bowl!



The President's daughter must drink water

no drink of "scotch" she might do what she hadn't otter

when I'm ignited, so excited that I start to "pant"

the "secret service" makes me nervous

when my lamps are lit

and I say "This is it!"



. . . the "secret service" makes me nervous

and I can't!



The "secret service" makes me nervous

those White House "dicks" get all their kicks

when they observe us!

Just as I wind up, make my mind up, not to say "I won't"

the "secret service" makes me nervous and I don't!



When things look "rosy" they get nosy

they'll say there's "tootsie" playing "footsie" very cosy

my pulse goes higher, I'm on fire, shakin' at the knees

the "secret service" makes me nervous and I freeze!



Whatever I may do or say

will be reported the next day!

They don't see clearly when I'm merely being courted

When I'm just "necking" simply "pecking" with a "Cary Grant"

they stand behind me to remind me "who" and "what" I am

. . . when I don't give a "?X?X" ( ooh ahh ahh! )

the "secret service" makes me nervous and I CAN'T!



Words and Music by Irving Berlin