Are you bored?

Are you jaded?

Has all the enthusiasm faded?

Are you one of those people

Like glazed fruit

Who sit there in shell-shock

Till the dot on your screen disappears?

Are you one of those people

Or are you just afraid?

Are you one who craves excitement

Were you tailor made

For this sporting life?

Living on a knife edge

This sporting life's forever changing



Are you one of these people?



The keys please quick

Every second counts

I've signed the book

Gimme the keys

The elevator opens its mouth

Like Jonah and the whale

The elevator spits me out

Into a freak show

It's a freak show

And into a swarm of flies



Do.....do not disturb

Do.....do not disturb

The sign on the door read:

Do not disturb



Strange looks from the bellman

As he takes me down the hallway

through a firedoor to a stairwell

Skidding, skidding, skidding, skidding

Out of control, out of control



Do.....do not disturb

Do.....do not disturb

The sign on the door read

The sign on the door said

The sign on the door read

Do not disturb



This is the Bad Samaritans

Hello loved one

Sorry there was nobody here

To take your call personally

However, we understand

What you're going through

How you've travelled life's highway

With your smile on upside-down

And now you think you've found

The ultimate answer to all your problems

Don't be hasty

Why waste a life

Wait until there's a crowd down below

Give a little when you go



Are you one of these people?



Jump jump jump jump jump......

There's a fruitcake in the window

Someone fetch the cops

For God's sake get a camera

Before the bastard drops

A little to the left

A little to the right

A little to the left

Maybe tonight's the night

Why are we waiting?

We're waiting

A little to the left

Right down the middle

A little to the right

X marks the spot

You ain't gonna be

On This is Your Life's tonight



This sporting life

Needs organising

We'd gladly lose the cup

If we could stick the knife in

This sporting life

This sporting life

This sporting life's forever changing



Are you bored?

Are you jaded?

Has all enthusiasm faded

Are you one of those people