Girls, I know you will understand this,

and feel the entrensic and incredible emotion

You have just pulled over your head

the worn and warm sweater belonging to a boy



Now you haven't had a passionate kissing session or anything

but you got to go on a camping trip with him

and 8 other people from school,

and you practically slept together

your sleeping bag right next to his



and you woke in the night to watch him as he slept,

but you couldn't see anything cuz it was dark

so you just laid there and listened to his breathing

and wondered if your heart might burst



The sweater has that slightly goat-like smell

which all teenage boys posess

and that smell will lovingly transfer

to all your other clothes



If you get to keep it for a few days

you can sleep with it

but don't let your mom see

because she'll say what is that filthy thing

and who does it belong to besides the trash man



So you have to keep it under the covers with you

you can kind of lie it beside you

or wrap it around your waist

or touch it on your legs

or whatever that's your business



Now if the sweater has like reindeer on it

or is a funny color like yellow

I'm sorry you can't get away with a sweater like that

Look for brown, or gray, or blue

anything other than that

and you know you're dealing with someone who's different

and different is not what you're looking for



You're looking for those teenage, Alpine ski chizzled features

and that sort of blank look

that passes for deep thought

or at least the notion that someone's home

You're looking for the boy of your dreams

who is the same boy in the dreams in all of your friends



Now the sweater isn't going to fit you of course

you have to kind of roll up the sleeves

in a jaunty way that says

this is the sweater belonging to a boy

and the boy is a genuine

hunk-a-hunk of burnin' love

and this is not just some hand-me-down

from your brother or your father



Monday, wear the sweater to school

Be calm, look cute

Don't tell the dream you had about

the place the two of you would

share when you get older

just be yourself

the best, cutest, quietest version of yourself

Definitely wear lip gloss



He looks at you, and he looks away

and then he walks away

and the smell of the sweater

hits you again suddenly like ape-scent gloriola



and you get a note passed

to you by a girl in history

that says he needs his sweater back

he forgot that you put it on

in the tent on Saturday

and he's been looking for it



and you don't have to die of humiliation you know

you are a strong person

and this is a learning experience

you can still hold your head up high

as you run from the classroom

tearing the stinking sweater from your body



you look at that sweater,

carefully, and you realize that love made

you temporarily blind,

you got a secret now, honey

and though you would never

sink as low as him

you could blab it all over the school

if you wanted



The label in that sweater

said 100% acrylic