This hotel room got a lot of stuff

A laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth

Thirty-two hangers and a touch-tone phone

Well a light that comes on when I'm not home

I ain't home, I ain't home

You better leave a message cause I ain't home



They got an air conditioner for when I'm hot

A radiator for when I'm not

Two big chairs sittin' side by side

With a Holy bible and a TV guide

TV guide, TV guide, great God o' mighty

It's a TV guide



I got a second story view from curb to curb

I got a sign that reads "Do not disturb"

A monogram towel and a bucket of ice

A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies

Mirror that lies, mirror that lies,

That couldn't be me in the gorilla disguise



They got a room service menu for food and drinks

A porcelain thrown and an aluminum sink

Two big pillows to rest my head

A magic fingers and a king size bed

Put in a quarter, turn out the light

Magic fingers makes you feel alright

Feel alright, feel alright

Magic fingers makes you feel alright



Oh this ole' hotel's alright with me

They pay the postage if you loose the key

This hotel has got a lot of stuff

But I do believe I have had enough

Call my baby said, don't you pout

I'm packin' my bags and I'm checking out

Just as soon as you hang up the telephone

Stick a candle in the window I'm comin' home

Comin' home, comin home

Stick a candle in the window, I'm comin' home