I have this problem with my toe

And so I call my HMO

With a referral from

My primary care physician

They say my call matters to them

Theyre like an old and trusted friend

Except friends dont make you ask

Them for permission



The recording on the phone

Says Leave your message at the tone

Tell us your name, your age,

Your reason for submission

So I describe my nail ingrown,

Wax poetic on the phone

This is a metaphor

For the whole human condition

Tender

Sensitive

Painful



And now Im listening to Brahms

(music to keep the caller calm),

Starting to see things from

The stockholders perspective

Should I stop thinking of myself

While they are managing my health?

While an accountant finds a treatment

Thats cost-effective



Hallelujah, I rejoice!

Is this a living human voice

talking to me

Like Im a sweet, annoying female?

I plead my best bureaucratese

I would be down upon my knees

Cept Id be leaning

on this poor, throbbing toenail

Painful

Purple

Festering



As for my coverage, they say no

This is a pre-existing toe

My policy excludes

All things pre-existing

So if I want the claim approved

The toe will have to be removed

Which they believe may keep

The problem from persisting



This makes my doctor quite irate

Why should he have to amputate?

In his opinion this condition could

Be better handled

And as for meI dont know

Id kinda like to keep the toe

I spent a fortune on these

Gorgeous Gucci sandals

Sexy

Size 6

Retail



I have been waiting patiently

Why arent you listening to me?

Can't you see that it's

Trying my