Went to a party

I danced all night

I drank 16 beers

And I started up a fight



But now I'm jaded

You're out of luck

I'm rolling down the stairs

Too drunk to fuck



Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk

To fuck

I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk

To fuck



I like your stories

I like your gun

Shooting out cop tires

Sounds like loads and loads of fun

But in my room

Wish you were dead

You ball like the baby

In Eraserhead



Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk

To fuck

It's all I need right now

Too drunk to fuck



Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk

To fuck

I'm sick soft gooey and cold

Too drunk to fuck



I'm about to drop

My head's a mess

The only salvation is

I'll never see you again



You give me head

It makes it worse

Take out your fuckin' retainer

Put it in your purse



Too drunk to fuck

You're too drunk to fuck

Too drunk

To fuck

It's all I need right now Oh baby

I'm melting like an ice cream bar

Oh baby



And now I got diarrhea

Too drunk to fuck

Yeah, Yeah

Yeah, Yeah

Yeah, Yeah

Oooohhh...