Tosspint rises early

Sprung from a nightmare's claw

Thrice crows the dawn cock

The mist is on the moor

Tosspint cries from croaking gills

Thank God I'm not forsaken

From the hellish depths of sleep

At last I am awaken



Tosspint flushed his kidneys

And rained a golden shower

Pleased to piss a good pot full

He shat upon the hour

Tosspint filled his belly

With tripe and ox's tongue

A sucking pig stuffed with figs

Into his guts he flung



Full belly and the dance is merry

Where hunger reigns no strength obtains

The wheel spins, the gurdy hums

Ring the bells and beat the drum



Tosspint drinks lustily

And pees against the sun

All around the hoary oak

The laughing maidens run

Tosspint warms his codpiece

To the flour adds the yeast

In the field by Tanner's Mill

He plays to two-backed beast



Twist the spigot, close the hole

Stoke the fire and blow the coal

The wheel spins, the gurdy hums

Ring the bells and beat the drum

Full belly and the dance is merry

Where hunger reigns no strength obtains

The wheel spins, the gurdy hums

Ring the bells and beat the drum



Tosspint fell foul of dogma

And slipped into schism

The trial was quick, the sky grew dark

They led him from the prison

Tied him to a stake of oak

Lit a fire of wood and coke

The crowd sang out "His bacon's smoked!"

The bells rang out "Tosspint's croaked!"



Tosspint under flaming sky

Walks through the fires of Hell

Where bestial demons threw the damned

Screaming as they fell

Into pits of burning coals

Tosspint throws up his last bowl

And mingled with the soup

His soul



Tosspint rises early

Sprung from a nightmare's claw

Thrice crows the dawn cock

The mist is on the moor

Twist the spigot, close the hole

Stoke the fire and blow the coal

The wheel spins, the gurdy hums

Ring the bells and beat the drum