I used to want to take a drill to my head

Let the pain out of the hole

I used to want to cut the veins in my neck

Cool the blood boiling my soul

When I wondered, why my daily headaches thundered

Tried to buffer, pushing down the pain I suffered

Mutilated, feeling so humiliated

Cannot wash the dirt off underneath my skin



There was part of me left far behind

When at the age of five years old

I had my innocence taken from me

Emptiness would fill the hole

Now a second grader, thinking why I don't feel better

Why I'm filthy, why the hell I feel so guilty

When drawing stickmen of pornographic men and women

Thinking all the time there's something wrong with me



Everyday, for three years, from dawn 'til dusk a migraine

Would take me and break me

And it'd cripple me so much that

In dreams, it'd seem, with a hole in my temple

That I could probably make my headaches finally go away



Trephination

Trephination

The enemy, inside of me

Won't let me free

Wants me to bleed



And after three years now my headaches wear off

For reasons not quite to me known

The acupuncture needles sticking my skin

Pushed them down as far as they'd go

But now I'm older and now inside my anger smoulders

From depression, to fighting taking out my vengeance

Consequences, now I'd question during sex if...

"Is this how it fucking feels or am I faking it?"



No longer the child that, you left there at the bart tracks

I'm now at seventeen, left in empty blankness

On drugs, with thugs and thinking "Goddamn?"

I'm ending up in a failure in the gutter passed out



Trephination

Trephination

This enemy, inside of me

Won't let me free

Wants me to bleed



Now I'm older and in this man an anger smoulders

Now I'm thinking a hole in you is what I'm seeing

Your depression, is the dent I kick in you in vengeance





Consequences are the pain I'd give to you



I know that I'm dreaming, but in this dream I go in

Go through it, and end it

And though I'd never do it

I'm killing you, hand on the trigger - pull it

Your final thought'll be a bullet in your fuckin' head



Trephination

Trephination

This enemy, inside of me

I'm now killing

To make me free