MARK

Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger



ROGER

I'm writing one great song --



MARK

The phone rings.



ROGER

Yesss!



MARK

We screen.



ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE

"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")



(Lights fade up on the street: the front-door area of MARK and

ROGER's building. Nearby is a battered public pay phone. TOM

COLLINS stands at the phone.)



COLLINS

"Chestnuts roasting ---"



ROGER & MARK

(as MARK picks up the phone)

Collins!



COLLINS

I'm downstairs



MARK

Hey!



COLLINS

Roger picked up the phone??



MARK

No, it's me.



COLLINS

Throw down the key.



MARK

A wild night is now pre-ordained



COLLINS

I may be detained.



MARK

What does he mean...?

What do you mean "detained"?





BENNY

Ho ho ho.



MARK & ROGER

Benny! Shit.



BENNY

Dudes, I'm on my way



MARK & ROGER

Great! Fuck.



BENNY

I need the rent



MARK

What rent?



BENNY

This past year's rent which I let slide



MARK

Let slide? You said we were 'golden'



ROGER

When you bought the building



MARK

When we were roommates



ROGER

Remember -- you lived here!?



BENNY

How could I forget?

You, me, Collins and Maureen

How is the drama queen?



MARK

She's performing tonight



BENNY

I know.

Still her production manager?



MARK

Two days ago I was bumped



BENNY

You still dating her?



MARK

Last month I was dumped



ROGER

She's in love



BENNY

She's got a new man?



MARK

Well -- no



BENNY

What's his name?



BOTH

Joanne



BENNY

Rent, my amigos, is due

Or I will have to evict you

Be there in a few



(ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta's theme from Puccini's La

Boheme on the electric guitar. The fuse blows on the amp.)



MARK

The power blows