Typewriter torment, dreadful disease

Caught it the first day I touched the keys

You wear down your fingers and churn out your pap

It eats up your life like a dose of the clap

Typewriter torment it tortures me still

If only my doctor could see that I'm ill



Typewriter fever it harries me still

If only my doctor would give me a pill



Typewriter fever gives birth to a flood

It sweeps through your body and curdles your blood

You curse and discurse but you're damned for all time

The moment your fingers give birth to a rhyme

Typewriter fever it harries me still

If only my doctor would give me a pill



Typewriter fever I'm worn to a stub

I've dumped my Thesaurus and pulled out the plug

I'm rending my ribbon and bending my spool

Don't bother rewinding: I'm done with it all

But why can't my doctor just say that I'm ill?

Typewriter fever is paying his bill.