There's a portrait of Uncle Alvarez

Hangin' in the hall

Nobody wants to look at it

But Uncle Alvarez sees us all



Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of Presidents

Better send a postcard and keep the family quiet



He's not really a part Cherokee Indian

He didn't fight in the Civil War

He's just Eugene Isaac Alvarez

We feel sorry for the wall



Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of Presidents

You're gonna make 'em sorry when you die



And it's a long way down

You're hoping for a heart attack

Runnin' around

Investing in this and that

And your beautiful wife keeps your life on a shelf for you

Safe in the bedroom

Where there's no dust or mildew

And it's hard to believe you were once a beautiful dancer



Better just to shake it off

As you write your resume

Don't think of Uncle Alvarez

And the price he had to pay



Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of Presidents

You're gonna make 'em sorry when you die



Oh, oh, oh, imaginary accomplishments

Hey, hey, hey, you visionary guy

You might even shake the hands of Presidents

Better send some money to the alma mater