When the postman don't call on valentine's day



And santa claus don't come on a christmas day



That umbrella won't work on a rainy day



Don't ask me, i already know







When they find you beached on the barrier reef



And the only pleasure treasured is in map relief



The choice is yours, sure, saint or thief



Don't ask me i already know







When they baked your cake in little slices,



Kept your eyes on rising prices,



Wound up winning booby prizes;



I'm sure you'd like to think you know what life is







Find destiny through magazines



Liplicking, unzipping



Harpers and queens



From here to eternity,



Without in-betweens,



Don't ask me, i already know







With your heart on parade and your heart on parole



I hope you find a sucker to buy that mink stole



School for scandal,



Guess who's enrolled?



So ask me, i already know







When they find you beached on the barrier reef



When the postman don't call on valentine's day



When the only pleasure treasured is in map relief



When you don't tell the truth, that's the price you pay







When i'm shaking a hand, i'm clenching a fist



If you gave me a pound for the moments i missed



And i got dancing lessons for all the lips i shoulda kissed



I'd be a millionaire



I'd be a fred astaire


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