Sugar-coated girlfriends don't mean anything to me

This song's about a girl who's soft and warm and cheap

when I held her close to me she melted right away

Velveeta was her name

Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...



All my friends keep telling me

"Frank, you must be sick.

How can you have fun with a gooey processed chick?"

But she's much more than that

she's got a heart of gold

and she does what she's told

Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...



I want to tell her that I'll never go away

but she keeps showing me her expiration date



Girls may come, girls may go, but I know one thing for sure

they stock Velveeta at the local grocery store

and she'll be on the shelf until the end of time

when we have to say goodbye

Velveeta, Velveeta, Velveeta...