Monty: Answering the telephone

Is not so hard to do

Once you know the secret

Which I shall show to you

What you say - that's the key!

And it's easy as it can be

You can say...



(RING!)



Bert: Hello? No, this isn't Ernie's ducky!



(RING!)



Monty: Or, perhaps...



Cookie Monster: Hello? You got cookie for me please?



(RING!)



Monty: Or...



Count: Hello, you are caller number one.



Monty: But don't say...(picks up phone)

Watermelons and Cheese!



Chorus: (dancing in) No, you don't say -



Monty: Watermelons and -



Chorus: You don't say -



Monty: Watermelons and -



Chorus: You never say -



Monty: Watermelons and Cheese!



Chorus: Puh-lease try a-gain!



Monty: This should be a breeze...



(RING!)



(answers) Watermelons and Cheese!

Oh, sorry!



Chorus: You could have said -



(RING!)



Bert: (with pigeon) Hello? Bernice, it's for you.



(RING!)



Chorus: A classic!



Cookie Monster: Hi, me can't talk now - eating cookies!



(RING!)



Chorus: Or...



Count: Hello, you are caller number two - 'a, 'a, 'a!



(RING!)



Chorus: You can do it!



Monty: (answering) Watermelons and Cheese!



Chorus: No, you don't say -



Monty: Watermelons and -



Chorus: You don't say -



Monty: Watermelons and -



Chorus: You never say -



Monty: Watermelons and Cheese!



Chorus: Puh-lease try a-gain!



Monty: This should be a breeze...



(RING!)



(answers) Watermelons and Cheese!



Chorus: NO!!!



Monty: Right! Jolly good! Not a problem! I think I've got it now.

You don't say, you never never say -



(RING!)



Watermelon: (answering) Watermelon and Cheese!



Monty: Unless you're a Watermelon...



Watermelon: It's for you! (hands phone to a giant swiss cheese)



Monty: Or a Cheese!



Watermelon: Ha ha ha!



Cheese: Gouda you to call ...