At the top of the social ladder I speak

Let me welcome you here officially

To the back drop of martini clatter

Break the ice with superficial chatter

I'm glad to be this year's MC

To greet the chic and the elite

Yeah, you finally get to mix and mingle

Pressing flesh until your fingers tingle



Worldwide socialites unite

OK, alright





The band is grander than I recall

The talk is cultured, if a little small

Keep parading your charading manners

Keep pretending that it really matters

Don't ask, don't tell

And please don't stare at the emperor

In his underwear

Special thanks to the snack committee

Heavens, don't those tarts look pretty





Worldwide socialites unite

Enjoy the conversation

But try to keep it light

Just avoid the friction

And if you feel conviction

Well then, baby, step outside

Let's keep the "lite" in social

Let's keep the social light

Let's keep the "lite" in socialite





Worldwide socialites unite

Avoid the dreaded question

The meaning of our lives

And as to God's existence

Well, that's your private business

And, quite frankly, impolite

Let's keep the "lite" in social

Let's keep this social light

Let's keep the "lite" in socialite