Frank Zappa (guitar, synclavier)

Steve Vai (guitar)

Ray White (guitar, vocals)

Tommy Mars (keyboards)

Chuck Wild (piano)

Arthur Barrow (bass)

Scott Thunes (bass)

Jay Anderson (string bass)

Ed Mann (percussion)

Chad Wackerman (drums)

Ike Willis (vocals)

Terry Bozzio (vocals)

Dale Bozzio (vocals)

Napoleon Murphy Brock (vocals)

Bob Harris (vocals)

Johnny "Guitar" Watson (vocals)



ENSEMBLE: (displaying Dummy #1)

Do you know what you are?



THING-FISH:

Dat what I ast ya!



ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is You is what you am



THING-FISH:

And DAT de trufe!



ENSEMBLE:

(A cow don't make ham...)



THING-FISH:

I meant dat now!



ENSEMBLE:

You ain't what you're not



THING-FISH:

Not even hardly...



ENSEMBLE:

So see what you got



THING-FISH:

And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!



ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is



THING-FISH:

Dat entirely TOO CORRECT!



ENSEMBLE:

An' that's all it 'tis!



THING-FISH:

Uh-HUHHHH!



ENSEMBLE:

A foolish young man



THING-FISH:

Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!



ENSEMBLE:

Stashed away in SAN QUENTIM Ate de mys'try potatoes



THING-FISH:

Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!



ENSEMBLE:

EVIL PRINCE was inventin' Now he talk like de THING-FISH



THING-FISH: (manipulating the dummy)

("Hmmmm, Saffiiiee!")



ENSEMBLE:

An' he look like a MAMMY!



THING-FISH: (manipulating the dummy)

("See de mammy, now! See de mammy, now!")



ENSEMBLE:

His fav'rit CO-LOG-NUMM...



THING-FISH:

Smell like...



SISTER POTATO HEAD BOBBY BROWN, SISTER GHENGHIS ADONIS OSMOSIS, SISTER JASMINE NOXEMA TAPIOCA:

CHITLINS!



ENSEMBLE:

Is de one dey call 'SAMMY'!



THING-FISH:

One-Adam-Twelve...see de mammy...



ENSEMBLE:

He finally layin'



THING-FISH:

Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!



ENSEMBLE:

De whole thang down, 'Cept de NIVEA LOTIUM!



THING-FISH:

Rub it on good, now!



ENSEMBLE:

An de ROYAL CROWN!



THING-FISH:

Take good care o' dat "ASH"!



ENSEMBLE:

Do you know what you are?



THING-FISH:

You's a wimp...she's a shrew!



ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is



THING-FISH:

Got dat?



ENSEMBLE:

You is what you am



THING-FISH:

One-Adam-Twelve, see de mammy agin'!



ENSEMBLE:

(A cow don't make ham...)



THING-FISH:

And it never will...



ENSEMBLE:

You ain't what you're not,



THING-FISH:

Unless SCIENCE do somethin' 'bout it!



ENSEMBLE:

So see what you got!



THING-FISH:

I KNOW dey woikin' on it...



ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is,



THING-FISH:

Underneath VIRGINIA!



ENSEMBLE:

An' that's all it 'tis!



THING-FISH:

BOOG-BOOGMMM, Dano..."MAMMY ONE"! They toss dummy #1 into the wings, an d introduce dummy #2 to HARRY & RHONDA. Their torture-chairs, (on a rolling platform), are wheeled to center stage. The action takes place all around them.



ENSEMBLE: (showing Dummy #2)

A foolish young man

Of de negro persuasion

Devoted his life

To become a caucasian

He stopped eating pork

He stopped eating greens

He trade his dashiki



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON: (manipulating the dummy)

("Uhuru!")



ENSEMBLE:

For some Jordache Jeans!



He learned to play golf

An' he got a good score

Now he says to himself:

"I AIN'T NO..."



THING-FISH:

"NIGNINT!"



ENSEMBLE:

NO MORE...HEY! HEY! HEY!"



THING-FISH:

One-Adam-Twelve, see de "NIGNINT" wit knife... proceed wif cautium...knife may be open...



ENSEMBLE:

BWANA MA-COO-BAH



HARRY:

All Right! Let's go!



ENSEMBLE:

MERCEDES BAINNNZZZZZ!



ENSEMBLE:

Who is who?



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON: (singing)

I don't know...



ENSEMBLE:

'N what is what



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Somethin' I just don't know...



ENSEMBLE:

'N why is this



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Tell me now...



ENSEMBLE:

Appropriot



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

That's a funny pronunciation, If'n ever I heard one!



ENSEMBLE:

If you don't like



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Where'd you get that word?



ENSEMBLE:

What you has got



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Appropriot? The word is not!



ENSEMBLE:

Drop it in the dirt



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Drop it, yeah!



ENSEMBLE:

'N let it rot



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I can smell it now!



ENSEMBLE:

Someone else



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Here de come, here de come!



ENSEMBLE:

Will surely come



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I told you he was comin'!



ENSEMBLE:

'N pick it up



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

That's right!



ENSEMBLE:

'Cause he wants some



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

An' he wants it for free!



ENSEMBLE:

And when one day



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

There will come a day!



ENSEMBLE:

You wonder who



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I wonder too!



ENSEMBLE:

You used to was



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Who I was, anyway!



ENSEMBLE:

'N what you do



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I used to work at the post office!



ENSEMBLE:

You'll scratch your head



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

But I don't wanna un-do my doo!



ENSEMBLE:

'N look around



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

To see what's goin' on!



ENSEMBLE:

But what you lost



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Can't seem to find it!



ENSEMBLE:

Will not be found



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

A Mercedes Benz!



ENSEMBLE:

Do you know what you are?



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I know!



ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm the kinda guy...



ENSEMBLE:

You is what you am



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

That ought to be drivin'



ENSEMBLE:

A cow don't make ham



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

A four-fifty SLC...



ENSEMBLE:

You ain't what you're not



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

A big ol' RED ONE!



ENSEMBLE:

So see what you got



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!



ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'!



ENSEMBLE:

An' that's all it is



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Gimme a five dollar bill!



ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

And an overcoat too...



ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Where's my waitress, yeahhhh!



ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Robbie, take me to Greek Town!



ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm harder than yer husband; Harder than yer husband!



ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club, y'all!



ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm goin' down 'n work the wall! 'N work the floor



ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS



SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

'N work the pipe, 'N work the wall some more!



ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS