Would you like to hear a christmas tale?

yes storyteller!

You know at christmas time there is always one of the old folks who will embarass you?

Yes!

Who will it be this year?

Auntie Margaret showing her knickers again!

No, shall I tell you?

Yes please!



Who's eaten all the pies?

Daddy!

Drunk all the beer?

Uncle Bob!

Who else could it be at this holiday time of year?



Fat Santa



Tell us a proper story!

Oh alright then



Way up above the rooftops high

In a darkly brilliant starlit sky

Take a brolly, I'll tell you why

The yuletide vomit is about to fly



Fat Santa

Every christmas eve

Fat Santa

Gives it an all out heave

Fat Santa

Worse than he was last year

Fat Santa

Blame it on dodgy gear



All the children point and cry what's that so far away

Could be the sleigh with a cop car on it's tail?

Oh no it's



Fat Santa

Coming from the bottle-o

Fat Santa

Listen to the sirens blow

Fat Santa

Oh he's getting very near

Fat Santa

Lashing at the cute reindeer



At every single house it seems he had just one little snort

That's what he told the policeman the moment he was caught



Breath test

Now he walks the line

Keep your fingers crossed now

Oh I think he's doing fine

Oh no!

There goes old saint Nick

Face down in the snow



And it's really quite sad for the reindeer because



Dancer and Prancer and Blitzen too

Were pulling quite hard on this night

Their numbers were down

'Coz Rudolph stayed home

To fix his nose after the fight with



Fat Santa