A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance my friend this is

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes

But you're cold as yesterday's mashed potatos

A fine romance you won't nestle

A fine romance you won't wrestle

I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts

I haven't got a chance

This is a fine romance



A fine romance with no kisses

A fine romance my fried this is

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins to express emotion

A fine romance, with no clinches

A fine romance with no pinches

You're just as hard to land as the Ill de France

I haven't got a chance

this is a fine romance



I don't need a moon to look, a tune from violin

Here with you, I need a book

And tons of aspirin

Socially you must remember me

I seem to be the stranger on whose knee you sat

This great love.. the love I'm speaking of

I've got it up to hear my dear & that is that



A fine romance, my dear dutchess

2 old fogies, who need crutches

True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has

We don't have half the thrills the march of time has

A fine romance my good woman

My strong aged in the woods woman

You never give the orchids I send a glance,

No you like cactus plants

This is a fine romance

You've never mussed the crease in my blue serge pants

I just don't stand a chance

this is a fine romance