Well, I fed your dog while you were on vacation

Covered all your shifts for the operation

But when you got back

You still wouldn't show me your brand new silicon boobs



So I took a walk around my neighborhood

To get you off a mind like I knew that I ought to

But when I saw a big black van run down a bird

I had to think about you



No, I'm not a quarterback

I'm not a fireman

But still I could have any girl in Japan

Cause I'm a healthy hundred and fifty nine pound

American boy



You tell a story like a broken record and

You tell a story like a broken record and

You tell a story like a broken record but

Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you like anyway



So you took another guy on that Caribbean cruise

While I stayed home and cried in my bottle of pills

But when you got back

You didn't even have yourself a tan cause you stayed in your room



So I fed your dog while you were outta town

And I mowed your lawn while you wasn't around

But when you got back

You had the nerve to ask if I'd gone through some of you clothes



(Yeah, right!)



No, I'm not a quarterback

I'm not a fireman

But still I could have any girl in Japan

Cause I'm a healthy hundred and fifty nine pound

American boy



You tell a story like a broken record and

You tell a story like a broken record but

I tell a story like a broken record but

Still I ain't jealous of the fellas like you like anyway