Are you sitting comfortably?

Then i'll begin

The story of kinnochio

The man who ran the other party pondered the size of his nose

A man who pleaded for leadership and groveled more than most

He scabbed and he lied and he nodded and smiled and he sunk down low

Whilst the nose at the foot of his happy face slowly began to grow

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

Little by little he noticed that his nose's enormous size

Was in direct and equal proportion to his political compromise

Despite his strenuous efforts to put the world to rights

His nose continued to slowly extend as he moved towards the right

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

Eager for power and groveling for votes

You could measure his popularity by the increasing size of his nose

A dancing puppet grafted in wood

Controlled by strings operated from above