I once gave an evening party

(A sandwich and cut-orange ball),

But my guests had such appetites hearty

That I couldn't enjoy it, enjoy it at all.

I made a heroic endeavour

To look unconcerned, but in vain,

And I vow'd that I never--oh never

Would ask anybody again!

But there's a distinction decided---

A difference truly immense--

When the wine that you drink is provided, provided,

At somebody else's expense.

So bumpers--aye, ever so many--

The cost we may safely ignore!

For the wine doesn't cost us a penny,

Tho' it's Pommry seventy-four!



CHORUS:

So bumpers--aye, ever so many--etc.



Come, bumpers--aye, ever so many--

And then, if you will, many more!

This wine doesn't cost us a penny,

Tho' it's Pommary, Pommary seventy-four!

Old wine is a true panacea

For ev'ry conceivable ill,

When you cherish the soothing idea

That somebody else pays the bill!

Old wine is a pleasure that's hollow

When at your own table you sit,

For you're thinking each mouthful you swallow

Has cost you, has cost you a threepenny-bit!

So bumpers--aye, ever so many--

And then, if you will, many more!

This wine doesn't cost us a penny,

Tho' it's Pommary seventy-four!



CHORUS.

So, bumpers--aye, ever so many--etc.



(March heard.)



LUD. (recit.).

Why, who is this approaching,

Upon our joy encroaching?

Some rascal come a-poaching

Who's heard that wine we're broaching?



ALL.

Who may this be?

Who may this be?

Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?



[Enter HERALD.]



HER.

The Prince of Monte Carlo,

From Mediterranean water,

Has come here to bestow

On you his beautiful daughter.

They've paid off all they owe,

As every statesman oughter--

That Prince of Monte Carlo

And his be-eautiful daughter!



CHORUS.

The Prince of Monte Carlo, etc.



HER.

The Prince of Monte Carlo,

Who is so very partickler,

Has heard that you're also

For ceremony a stickler--

Therefore he lets you know

By word of mouth auric'lar--

(That Prince of Monte Carlo

Who is so very particklar)--



CHORUS.

The Prince of Monte Carlo, etc.



HER.

That Prince of Monte Carlo,

From Mediterranean water,

Has come here to bestow

On you his be-eautiful daughter!



LUD. (recit.).

His Highness we know not--nor the locality

In which is situate his Principality;

But, as he guesses by some odd fatality,

This is the shop for cut and dried formality!

Let him appear--

He'll find that we're

Remarkable for cut and dried formality.



(Reprise of March. Exit HERALD.

LUDWIG beckons his Court.)



LUD.

I have a plan--I'll tell you all the plot of it--

He wants formality--he shall have a lot of it!

(Whispers to them, through symphony.)

Conceal yourselves, and when I give the cue,

Spring out on him--you all know what to do!

(All conceal themselves behind the draperies that enclose the

stage.)