I was there on the day that you died

And I'm the only one here as they bury your hide

And this is the last time I'll be by your side

Well the world is one soul fewer

The preacher says the last rites so well

Says you're going to Heaven and not to Hell

But he has to say that and I know damn well

That you're Satan bound



REFRAIN:

So if you go to Hell

would you get me something nice

Maybe a T-Shirt or maybe a hat

or maybe some loaded dice

And if you go to Hell

would you at least send me a card

So I'll know how you're doing

And I'll know where you are



Well you never did care how much you did drink

And you never did care what the others did think

And I've got a feeling that now that you're dead

You won't even remember my name

I used to write and you'd never write back

I'd call on my card and you'd call me collect

You never bought gifts and you never left tips

But it's never too late for a change



REFRAIN



So go to Hell you bastard

Live painfully ever after

You'll burn for all eternity

No one rides for free



There's only one way to escape Satan's flames

If you're willing to pay to clear your bad name

This is the place and now is the time

So come on give me a sign



REFRAIN



Burn for all eternity and save a seat for me